Bowing Out.....

I can recall the beginning of this group. The vision we all had for something more than what either of us were prepared to handle.
Each one, extremely different and blessed in different ways to share the love of Christ. Each, the same... created by the same God, given the same purpose to love with this extraordinary love only Christ to be given the glory through. Each, I am truly blessed to have had influence my life.
I can recall the funny jokes and the times we whaled out the tears and demanded that something had to change and it starts with us changing for the better in Christ!

Somewhere along the line, I believe it was an adventure in seeking Christ to the fullest, yet ended up as a fight to the death with us handing the victory over to this world without even realizing what we had done.

I must admit that I can view this thing in a different way. Lesson learned... we move on, we continue to run after the cause and place Christ at the center of the spectrum again. With that said, what happens when there is more damage done than good?

I believe I am at fault more than most. This, I am ok with. Piece of cake right? Not so. Though I am ok with taking responsibility, I am not ok with letting things get out of hand as they have. I am not ok with getting so hurt and prideful that I had to push Christ away and lose a lot more than I care to elaborate on. Nothing exceeds the loss of Christ!

The focus was tampered with and we never did refocus ourselves. I don't think I ever said,"what are we doing? where are we going? and why can't we refocus ourselves on Christ?" It makes me angry that I didn't say those things! But only angry with myself.

I know with this, I will cling to Christ more and I need that... we all do. I know that there will be a time I can reflect on certain times and thank my Lord for teaching me the error of my ways. I am so blessed just to have chances like that. How much more am I blessed by God to have all that I have at this moment?! It's more than I can explain. More than I can begin to even think about.

I guess this post is to admit fault for a lot. I know I've done that plenty in the past few months. Yet, I've never taken the time to really just stop and write it all down. So that's what these blogs are for. Online admittance that I was wrong.

I'm not going to throw out verses to condemn my heart any more than I have already allowed words to. Instead, I bow out. Giving God the glory and willfully allow the Holy Spirit to continue the work-in-progress on my heart. Leading me to bear much fruit as we are called to do. All pointing to Christ, the only sensible, loving, understanding, right, true and holy one.


Lord I pray and plead with you tonight, I humble myself before you and before all who know and do not know you. May I love them just as you love us. May my ways not reflect poorly on your glory as it has in the past. May I walk away refreshed, renewed and ready to serve you to the full capacity you have created me to serve you with. May my words and thoughts be held captive and I pray that as I listen more to the Holy Spirit, I gain a better understanding of how you love us, so you can use me to love others!

Update #1

Well, we started to go out and do exactly what we stated from the beginning of this thing. It started by going out there and finding things to do that will in some way make someone's day brighter. So, Kristen, Mel and me(Patti D.) went out Friday morning and grabbed a cup of Java and some food before our adventures began. We prayed for opportunity and for ways to reach people.

We went to the local Burger King down the street from the great and famous Epiphany Coffee Shop and decided to get 10 cheeseburgers. Courtney contributed $5.00 b/c she was unable to get off of work. THANKS COURT!!!

Driving around for a few minutes until we got to our parking spot, we got out of the car and started our journey and in the very beginning, we handed out our first cheeseburger and track!! It took a while longer, but we finally got rid of ALL TEN!! Along with the cheeseburgers we handed out tracks as well. Now, we didn't really get to give 10 people a cheeseburger, but the three people we were able to bless with food and some great reading..... were so thankful.

Courtney and Kristen were able to start helping out and begin the counselor training process for a pregnancy center and I have become a Big Sister to a local kid who needs encouragement.

Extremely early, this Saturday, I plan on handing out some water bottles and granola bars. I'll update here after that.

We are starting what we have been dreaming about.... Praise God for the chances we have had thus far!!

Here's a picture of our travels on Friday...

The Leak of Faith...

Psalm 74

"1 Why have you rejected us forever, O God? Why does your anger smolder against the sheep of your pasture? 2 Remember the people you purchased of old, the tribe of your inheritance, whom you redeemed-- Mount Zion, where you dwelt. 3 Turn your steps toward these everlasting ruins, all this destruction the enemy has brought on the sanctuary. 4 Your foes roared in the place where you met with us; they set up their standards as signs. 5 They behaved like men wielding axes to cut through a thicket of trees. 6 They smashed all the carved paneling with their axes and hatchets. 7 They burned your sanctuary to the ground; they defiled the dwelling place of your Name. 8 They said in their hearts, "We will crush them completely!" They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land. 9 We are given no miraculous signs; no prophets are left, and none of us knows how long this will be. 10 How long will the enemy mock you, O God? Will the foe revile your name forever? 11 Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand? Take it from the folds of your garment and destroy them!

12 But you, O God, are my king from of old; you bring salvation upon the earth. 13 It was you who split open the sea by your power; you broke the heads of the monster in the waters. 14 It was you who crushed the heads of Leviathan and gave him as food to the creatures of the desert. 15 It was you who opened up springs and streams; you dried up the ever flowing rivers. 16 The day is yours, and yours also the night; you established the sun and moon. 17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.

18 Remember how the enemy has mocked you, O Lord, how foolish people have reviled your name. 19 Do not hand over the life of your dove to wild beasts; do not forget the lives of your afflicted people forever. 20 Have regard for your covenant, because haunts of violence fill the dark places of the land. 21 Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace; may the poor and needy praise your name. 22 Rise up, O God, and defend your cause; remember how fools mock you all day long. 23 Do not ignore the clamor of your adversaries, the uproar of your enemies, which rises continually."

I love verses 13-17 that are reminders of miracles God has done in the past. Sometimes I find myself having a prayer time where I know I am praying but not really believing in my heart. It is then that I also have to take David's approach and stir up my faith by confessing who God is and the incredible things He has done in my life. Other times, I will confess miracles He performed in the Bible. I can literally feel my faith muscle being built in those moments, and I feel more refreshed and optimistic about the situation after wards. The only problem is, I leak.

Yes, you read that correctly. I leak. My faith leaks throughout the day. Like a tire that continually needs to be pumped up with air. A few hours after my "glorious" prayer time, I find myself worrying how the situation is going to work out again. Even if it is only a mere few moments in bathroom or the car, asking for God to help my faith and renew my trust in Him - it helps for me to stay "pumped up" throughout the day. Otherwise, I find myself laying my head down at night not being able to shut off my mind.

I don't commune with God throughout the day because I want to be super spiritual, I commune with him constantly because if I don't I am nothing but a flat tire. The confessions of who God is and what He has done help me to stay firm and steady. Just like a bike being taken for a ride, when the pressure is put on me I am able to handle it because I have continually been patching my leaks and staying filled up.

The Beginning...

Picture it! 5 girls sitting at a kitchen table eating vegetables with ranch dressing - some of us double...even triple dipping!! 

What was meant to be a normal get-together was not so... We started talking about doing something that didn't just benefit us 5. So - we went around the table several times and all took turns on discussing little things we could do to help out the surrounding communities. 

We decided to call our little group "Us5" a perfect name for the perfect non-profit group. 

We all left the meeting with more than just the, "that was nice" feeling. My own feeling was a little empty. Had God started this thing or was it just a few thoughts from a few girls? 

Well - the next day, Kristen text messages all the girls a bible verse from a devotional we all read. Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

I read that and thought to myself, "wow that's a powerful verse and man... I forgot to read the devotion for today!"

I was at church and heard the most bizarre thing! The pastor was talking about knowing that there are many of us who have a heart to serve and start serving throughout our community and in the church. It was so crazy! So, I got in touch with Kristen and Courtney and drove to their house to let them know the awesome things I heard that night at service.

So - here we are! I can't believe it! But - it's what we are called to do. To God be the glory!! ;)